Deleted Scenes
by Katzztar
Summary: EDITED 10/2011 We all know what happened in the series, right? WRONG! Several people went out of their way to delete some scenes they thought were too embarassing to be seen. Now I got my paws on them to show everyone!
1. Get out of the Bathroom!

Deleted Scenes

Disclaimer I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or its characters.

**Scene 1- Behind the Door**

In the dawn's early light, several young men were beginning to lose their tempers. This long of a wait was ridiculous. Although team Urameshi are the reluctant 'guests' for the Dark Tournament, they still were furnished with a lavish hotel suite for the five-member team. However, Urameshi Yusuke has found a serious flaw in the floor plan.

"Come off it, Kurama and hurry up!" Yusuke hollered at his teammate for the fourth time. Crossing his arms, Yusuke leaned against the wall next to the bathroom door. "I can't believe this! This is such a fancy place but this suite has only one damn bathroom!" He hollered as he threw his towel on the floor.

From behind the locked door, there came a muffled reply from the kistune. "I'll be finished shortly."

"Hn!" Hiei withstood the desire to cross his legs as Kuwabara was currently doing. While Yusuke was the only one still needing a shower, all three males had a more important reason to get behind that door.

Kuwabara turned his head to look at the clock and then back to the still closed door. "Kurama! You said you would be out shortly over twenty-three minutes ago. And you were in there for fifteen minutes before that!" By now he had begun to hop from one foot to the next. "Kurama, please hurry up…I got to go pee!"

In some twisted irony, Kuwabara's 'I need to pee' dance has only made the need stronger for Hiei. "So do I, fox! Stop playing with your hair and get out!"

Again the muffled reply came of "I'll be out shortly."

However, this time Kuwabara noticed something peculiar. As Kuwabara approached the door Yusuke stood tall …as much as he possibly could given his average height versus Kuwabara's. "Get in line, dumb ass! I was here first."

Raising an eyebrow, Hiei looked at the youth. "I was here before you."

"Shh, I hear something." Kuwabara waved a hand at them as he kneeled, then he pressed an ear to the door. "Yeah, there it is… a 'plink' sort of sound. It keeps going plink…plink…plink."

Grinning, Yusuke leaned forward…to deliver a punch to his friend's head. "Big deal, you heard a plinky from behind the door. I'm so impressed." With his hands on his hips, Yusuke stood over the now-sitting Kuwabara. "Hey, here's a thought. That plink sound is water dripping! There, the mystery is solved."

In a flash, Kuwabara was standing and glaring at his old rival, as he pointed a finger at ... no into the tip of Yusuke's nose. "No, it's not water, ignoramus!" Looking cross-eyed at the finger while hearing 'ignoramus', brought a flash of memory from the beginning of Genkai's Tournament to Yusuke.

Stepping away from the door, Kuwabara rubbed his chin. "Naw, this sound is caused by something ... well heavier than water. It brings back a memory of a time my sis wanted to torture me." Turning his back to Yusuke and Hiei, Kuwabara ignored their deadpan faces and the comments of 'what's new'. "Around when I was eleven, Shizuru tied me down in a chair and gagged me. She then brought out a large box filled with rice, coffee beans, sesame seeds and other types of seeds. She turned off all the radios, the TV, everything was silent. And since it was so late at night there were no sounds from outside either. She then started to take one item out of the can and dropped it onto the hardwood floor, then went to drop another and another. That doesn't sound too bad unlit you think of how long it went on. You can't cover up your ears, you can't hum or talk to cover the sound and you can't get up and leave. When all you hear is a bean or a seed dropping, one at a time for an hour or longer… it's a type of annoyance that grows into a type of torture. You can compare it to that Chinese water torture."

"Sounds like a most amusing torture method. A pity I couldn't have been there to see you squirm." Kuwabara could only glare at the fire demon at the moment … he did not have the energy to make a retort as his bladder was making its own demands. "I assume that you brought up that story because of the similarity in the sounds. Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?"

Glaring at the closed door, Kuwabara nodded his head, "Yeah, I am suggesting that." With a frustrated growl, he shook a fist at the door as he hollered.

"KURAMA! YOU BETTER NOT BE DOING WHAT I THINK YOU'RE DOING!"

Yusuke's jaw dropped in shock. With his back turned towards them, they didn't see Hiei's eyes widen in shock and annoyance. Kuwabara grimaced as he asked what the chances were that he and Hiei would yell the same thing at the exact same time.

The only reply came from behind the closed door. "I'll be finished shortly."

Tick-tock

Tick-tock

Tick-tock

"That does it! A short amount of time has come and gone. I need to go the bathroom. Now! I can't wait any longer." With that Kuwabara got up to walk to the front door. "You two can wait here if you want to, but I know a nice secluded group of trees and bushes that will hide me as I answer nature's call."

Yusuke would only blink as Kuwabara opened the door and walked out. "Well, you want to go out there and piss in public? Huh… Hiei?" Finally he turned to face Hiei after noticing the silence. Looking at the balcony, Yusuke saw that only the curtains were moving and Hiei was nowhere in sight. "Damn, I'm glad I'm just waiting for a shower."

In the silence that followed the only sound was a steady plink, plink, plink.

After ten minutes, Hiei and Kuwabara both were walking down the hall to the suite. "Hn, I agree. He's been in there long enough. He is taxing my patience." Whatever the reply may have been, it was cut off as they opened the door to find the TV was blaring.

"I don't know why you two are getting along and I don't care. Just make it stop!" At the sudden outburst, they noticed that Yusuke had finally left the bathroom door. However, he is now sitting on the couch covering his ears.

"Fool." Hiei walked over to the TV and turned it off. Hiei gave a glare at the door for as soon as the TV was off they could hear the hollow promise of 'I'll be finished shortly'. "If it was too loud, you should have turned it down."

"No, you got to turn it back on!" Yusuke jumped off the couch to go turn the television back on. Suddenly an elbow dropping sharply on his head stopped Yusuke's forward movement. Rubbing the top of his head, he turned to face the culprit. "Gee, thanks Kuwabara, I needed that…not."

"Yeah, you did need it, Urameshi." Giving one his trademark grins, Kuwabara poked Yusuke in the side. "That was to snap you back to your senses. You sat there by the bathroom door the entire time we were gone, didn't you? And all you could hear was the plink, plink, plink. You had the TV blaring but you could still hear it. I told you it was a demented type of torture."

"Damn it! Why didn't the TV cover up that damned sound?" Was Yusuke's only admission that Kuwabara was correct.

"That's because you were aware of the sound, dimwit." Genkai walked in and sat down on the couch. "And in trying to cover up the sound, you were subconsciously listening harder to see if you could still hear it. Therefore, your attempts to drown out the sound failed." After placing her coffee mug down, The Reikai master turned to face the boys. "Well, do you boys have the faintest idea what is making plinking sound in your bathroom?"

"Kurama." All three of the guys answered at the same time.

Genkai blinked at the muffled reply of "I'll be finished shortly".

"Hey, Hiei…" Kuwabara waited until his teammate glared at him. "How about we go ahead with what we were planning out in the hallway."

"Hn." Hiei walked over to the door as he pulled out a small kit. As Yusuke looked over the fire demon's shoulder, he could see it was some type of lock picking kit. "That fox has been in there for an hour now. That's plenty of time to 'wash his hair.' I want to know what he is really doing."

As the bathroom door swung open, the other members of Team Urameshi saw Kurama sitting by the bathtub combing his hair. What caught their attention was that the tub was full. However, it was not water that filled it, but seeds. Countless seeds were piled in the porcelain basin and were spilling over.

Kurama patiently smiled at them in his polite yet arrogant way as he asked if anything was wrong.

With his wide as saucers, Kuwabara pointed at the seed-filled tub. "Damn Kurama, are you going to wash your hair or take inventory?"

FINI

Author note

This will be my first YYH all-funny fic. I warn you now that slapstick and campy humor lies ahead. I am going to attempt to try to write the humor in character with the show. It is not as easy as it sounds, so there may be some OOC. Most of the OOC will be on Hiei's part. However, I will be going by the Japanese subbed version NOT the English dubbed version. Therefore, for the people that have only seen the dubbed version may think its OOC when it is not. Yes, there is a difference between dubbing and subbing.

DUBBING IS EVIL…most of the time.

Here is why I say that: Way back in Genkai's Tournament when Kuwabara gets a perfect score on rock, paper, scissors (r-p-s), it is because of his strong reikan. In the D.T., the guys play r-p-s to see who will go fight next. However, in the English-dubbed version, they have Hiei say that Kuwabara is cheating by going a second after the others. That does NOT happen in the ORIGINAL, Japanese version with subtitles. Kuwabara does NOT need to cheat, his reikan is enormous!

This brings us to the one episode I DO like in the dubbed version. The subbed version has Genkai tell Yusuke of Kuwabara's reikan is great in her own obscure way, but the dubbed version she makes it clearer. Genkai says that Kuwabara has unparalleled spirit awareness. By that comment she admits that his reikan is stronger than Shizuru's or her own. The difference is that Genkai has the years of training with hers that allow her to perform spells and such, while Kuwabara is still young. However there is that time that Kurama, Hiei and Urameshi spent in Makai…

In the last episode, we find out that Kuwabara has been sneaking off to Genkai's temple, visiting Yukina. I say 'sneak' because even Shizuru did not know about it for those years. While he was there at Genkai's temple, he COULD be getting tips with his reikan from Genkai….

At the end of the manga, instead of Yukina living with Genkai, she living with the Kuwabara's'! Okay enough ranting… time for some laughs.


	2. Scene2, act 1 Arrival of the Fiend

Deleted Scenes from the Dark Tournament

I just wanted to say that I really DO like Botan. She is a wonderful character and I am not bashing her in this, hehehehehe I am just poking some fun at her expense…. She is quite in character you see ;) oh, Yusuke too, I love poking fun at him…but at least I'm not bashing him!

A funny fic is far better than any bash fic! The difference between the two? Simple, a bash-fic makes a character incredibly stupid and ignores the good aspects of that character. A funny fic is the opposite, the character is in character but still gets some laughs.

Unfortunately, some new authors forget that and think the best funny fic is one that makes a character completely stupid, have that character act in ways they would not and never acknowledge the character's worth. Countless fics that bash Kuwabara come to mind. - As you can see from my last chapter, it IS possible to make fun of someone but keep them in character ;P so phhhhhhhhhhhhttttttttttt to all the bashers XD

DISCLAIMER I do not own the YYH characters.

Warning OOC abounds.

Deleted Scenes

"Demons hate humans, this is why they always cheered for everyone to kill Team Urameshi… However, some animals are natural enemies of each other. Like foxes and hens or cats and dogs. If one were fighting the humans, whom would their racial enemies cheer? Let us imagine that a cat demon was fighting Urameshi, would the dog demon calling for the death of the humans or would racial hate win and would he cry out to kill the cat? I found out that answer in this deleted scene.

It seems that Shishiwakamaru went to great lengths to destroy this tape. This is proof that the scene that we saw of his battle with Kuwabara was NOT their first battle but a rematch. Shishiwakamaru demanded that they re-do the entire episode…that spoiled brat. Here is the first match…with some unusual fans." -Katzztar

Scene 2, act 1 The Fiend's Arrival

Although she has had her own share of odd happenings, Botan did not think that waking up to a strange rustling sound was the ideal scenario. "Of all things to happen at a time like this…" Botan got down on her knees as she peered under her bed. "It's supposed to against the rules for a demon to attack to the guest team in their own room!" Muttering to herself, Botan crawled over to peer under Keiko's bed. "It's near…whatever it is."

"What's near?" Botan jumped at the unexpected voice that came from six inches above her. "Ouch!" Unfortunately, when she jumped, she hit the top of her head with the speaker's jaw…who happened to be Keiko.

Shizuru rushed in to see Botan rubbing the top of her head as Keiko rubbed her own jaw. "Okay, what did I miss?"

Inching over to the bed that Shizuru had used, Botan continued her search as she began to explain herself. "When I woke up, I heard something rustling around. I'm trying to find out where it's coming from."

A cloud of smoke temporally obscured Shizuru as she quirked an eyebrow. "Well, sweetheart, did you think that it could have been Keiko turning around in those crinkly sheets that caused it?" Putting out the cigarette in a nearby ashtray, the elder Kuwabara walked over to the beds to get a change of clothes.

Huffing, Botan stood up on her knees, and with one hand on hip and the other hand was waving the pointer finger at Shizuru. "A matter of fact, yes I did think of that. However, the sound was not…wait! There it is again!" All eyes turned to face the wall near Shizuru's bed. "As I was saying, it didn't sound like someone turning around in sheets." Botan reiterated with narrowed eyes.

"Where is it coming from?" The oddness was creeping Keiko out. Unlike Shizuru or Botan, she was still quite new to the reality of demons and any supernatural events. Keiko's main previous supernatural experience was when Yusuke's ghost visited her during his spirit trials. She didn't consider the time when everyone went crazy and chased her was supernatural; she didn't know about the Makai whistle or that the leader of the Saint Beasts had ordered her death. Don't hold it against her; it's not her fault that Yusuke lied to her about it. Well technically, it was Botan who lied, saying that Yusuke was some sort of junior detective and that was a top-secret case, but Yusuke went along with the lie. Therefore, he is guilty of lying after all.

As the three women took one step forward, they could tell that the clatter is coming from the dresser that stood next to Shizuru's bed. In unison, they took another step forward. As in response, the tote bag sitting atop the dresser ….shifted.

This caused Botan to jump…behind Shizuru. "IEEE! It moved!" Yes, that was Botan, who stated the most obvious thing.

Keiko stopped, not wanting to move forward. "Uh... Shizuru, I don't know how to tell you this…but there's something in your duffle bag."

Raising her fist, Shizuru was ready to pound whatever miniature fiend that dared rummage through her clothing. There was no way that she was going to have a repeat of Okinawa Hotel of 2001, when poltergeists held a panty raid in her suite. However, she was startled as her spirit awareness told her the true nature of the culprit.

"Ah, damn!" Botan and Keiko were perplexed at Shizuru's exclamation and the sudden relaxing of her guard. Both girls could only blink as Shizuru marched over to the bag and unzipped it.

As soon as it was opened, a small head popped out. "Oh, damn it all! What are you doing here, boy? Kazu's going to have a seizure over this!" With Shizuru standing with her back to the others, they couldn't see what was hiding in the bag. "You wretched little beast, you enjoy getting me into trouble with my bro, don't you? You're the only thing that Kazuma will fight me for! That kid wouldn't raise a hand to me, even if I'm pounding at him. But when you enter the picture, it's a different story."

With her head tilted at an angle, Botan watched as Shizuru reached down to pick up whoever she is talking to. Shizuru's back still hid the perpetrator's identity. Once she turned around, they could see who it was that gave them a scare.

"Oh, it's so cute!" Keiko ran over to scoop the tiny creature into a hug.

"Ha ha, the mystery's solved….. But she's awfully familiar." Botan struck her classic 'thinking' pose as she tried to remember where she saw the small beast before. "I remember now! Back when Yusuke first returned to life for good, there were some hoodlums that tried to force Kuwabara to steal some stuff. They were holding her hostage."

"Those beasts!" Keiko huffed at the thought of anyone daring to harm something so adorable. "How dare they harm a little baby! I hope Kuwabara pounded them good!"

Botan and Shizuru had to stifle a laugh at the idea of the usually peaceful Keiko cheering on a gang fight. Shizuru wasn't aware that Kuwabara and his gang had fought several fights with rival gangs over Keiko's safety during Yusuke's death. While Botan…well, truth be told, she forgot about that little fact. She was too busy thinking of how Kuwabara is going to react to this new turn of events.

Those same thoughts plagued Shizuru as well. "One, it's a boy cat Botan. Two, Kazu is not going to like this at all. He is so damn protective of his baby that after those creeps took him, he wouldn't let him go anywhere outside unless he was there as well." Glaring at the tiny troublemaker, Shizuru lit up another cigarette. "He's going to go ballistic when he finds out that E…."

The front door the suite slammed opened, cutting off whatever she was about to say. The sudden scare caused Botan and Keiko to jump in fright…throwing their arms around each other's necks in a 'HELP! I'm scared!' hug-like pose. Of course, this caused Keiko to drop the one that caused all the trouble in the first place.

"Shizuru!" A familiar husky voice bellowed in true anger. "Damn you sis! When are you going to learn to check your damn bags before leaving the house!" The younger Kuwabara stomped his way to the bedroom to face his sister. As he entered the room, he ignored Keiko and Botan who are still frozen in surprise. "This makes it …what… the fifth time that you allowed my baby to sneak into your bags."

"Why do you always blame me for it!" Crossing her arms, the elder Kuwabara stared down …well attempted to... at the younger but taller Kuwabara.

With narrowed eyes, Kazuma lowered his voice to a cold tone that his teammates never heard him use before. However, Shizuru has heard him use this tone when he's deadly serious and is in no joking mood. "It is always your bags that he manages hide in. You never check your luggage before you leave the house, and I do. I checked my duffle bag and she was not in it when I left. There for, my baby came here in your bags…once again."

A look of confusion came over Yusuke, but that was nothing new for him. Okay, to be fair, all the guys were confused. Kuwabara's hollering about his baby and cursing his sister for endangering the said baby awakened them. Therefore, they naturally jumped up to follow him to the girls' room.

"Kurama." Hiei stood to the side looking on as the psychic siblings began a fist fight. Although it looks more as if Shizuru is doing all the punching, one thing that changed is that her brother is deflecting her blows for once instead of accepting them. "Do you know anything about this so-called baby? Kuwabara's too young to sire a child. He's how young? Not yet an adult, that's for certain."

Chucking, the fox demon turned to regard the fire demon. "I suspect who, or more like what, Kuwabara is talking about." Kurama paused for a moment to smile at the reality of the situation and the absurdity of Hiei's comment. "However, on a different note, Kuwabara is about to turn fifteen. Although he's still an adolescent, he can sire a child."

"How so?" Yusuke turned away from watching the brother and sister fighting to give his full attention to the conversation. "I know that we guys can get a stiffy in our teen years, but I thought we didn't have the stuff to get a girl pregnant until later."

'Is he really that naïve?' Kurama had a giant sweat drop at Yusuke's comment. "Ah, Yusuke did you skip school back in sixth grade primary when they showed the sex education films?"

"What! When did they show that stuff?"

'That's my answer…' Kurama glanced to the side to see that Hiei was still waiting for him to explain things as well. "I find hard to believe that you can watch those X-rated films and still be naïve…"

With his arms akimbo, Yusuke glared at his friend. "Hey! For one thing, those films feature adults, not teens. Teens in skin-flicks are against the law…although that wouldn't stop me from watching any. Secondly, they are about sex, not reproduction!" Leering at Keiko's rear, he leaned in to whisper. "Don't call me naïve, I learned what to do with a girl from them all right. But those films are all action, they show the lusts of life, not the mysteries of life!"

"Ah, good point." Rubbing the back of his head, Kurama sighed dejectedly as he realized that he would have to explain a part of the birds and the bees. "Very well, a human male can produce semen even in the early teen years. However, their seed is not fully healthy and not a potent as an adult's. So, yes it is possible that Kuwabara could impregnate a female even though he's not yet fifteen. But I believe that this is just a hypothetical scenario. I do not think that this 'baby' of Kuwabara's is a child that he sired but something he adopted and cares for greatly."

Yusuke rubbed is jaw in confusion trying to figure it out for a few seconds. Suddenly, his face went from 'I'm lost' to 'You can't mean what I think you mean' look. "Kurama, you don't mean that…."

"EIKICHI!" Kuwabara's cry of joy cut through the air.

"…cat." Yusuke finished his sentence as the astonished friends watch the big lug scoop up the small animal from the ground.

"What?" Hiei had a look of annoyance as he turned to face Kurama. "You mean, all that bluster for his baby was for a pet _kitten_?"

TBC…. LOL I thought about adding a few lines but Hiei's comment was the best closing line I could think of! Hehe the next chapter…. Where the unusual fans arrive.

…

I must admit that ch.1 is not the first story of that type. I cannot remember the title, but there is a story out there that has the guys going over the memories of which was worse Dark tournament or Sensui saga. Hiei said it was D.T. since there was only one bathroom, from there, it gives some snips of humorous scenes, one including an odd humid fog that fills the hotel. As Yusuke, Kuwa & Kurama track it down to coming from their suite, they find out …it was Hiei taking a VERY hot shower XD all that steam from a fire demon wanting a nice hot bath filled the hotel!


	3. Scene 2, act2 Nature of the Beast

Opps I forgot to say this before but I don't own any characters from Yu Yu Hakusho…if I did I'd fire all the dimwits at FUNimation for the sucky dubbing and changing what the characters say and mean! PST, Did you know that my spellcheck tried to replace FUNimation with Fumigation? XD That company needs to be fumigated! GRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

"Ever noticed that in the Dark Tournament, we see several bird youkai, fish and others…but no identifiable cats are seen? This deleted scene shows why the censors omitted the cats from the Dark Tournament.

**Scene 2, act 2 Nature of the Beasts **

"I still can't believe all that fuss was over a stupid pet." Hiei grumbled as they watched Kuwabara get into the ring to face Shishiwakamaru.

"Hiei, Eikichi is not stupid. Do you remember when we took Kuwabara-kun and Yusuke to the Kuwabara home after defeating Suzaku? That day I had a lovely talk with the young cat." Kurama could only smile at Hiei's disbelieving glare. "I am a fox spirit, remember? And animals do have a keen sixth sense. If they are intelligent enough, then I can communicate with them. Since I found myself in a new ally's home, I decided to gather whatever information I could about Kuwabara-kun. We went to Maze Castle knowing only about Yusuke. Kuwabara was an unexpected ally, even for Koenma. I wanted to learn what I could, so I took advantage of Eikichi's youthful trust to gather information."

Needless to say, Hiei was not impressed. "Hn, what can you learn from a baby cat?"

"A lot, people tend to confide to their pets. Kuwabara talks to his cat about many things ranging from his habits to his loyalty. I even learned that Kuwabara-kun has been seeing ghosts since his early childhood from the kitten." Giving a small smile, Kurama looked to the ring to see Kuwabara use his reikan like a javelin to avoid a mysteriously shimmering...scarf? "Hiei, you know my reputation, my carefulness and cunning. Why do you think I accepted Kuwabara as an ally so quickly? Of course I checked him out to see if it was worthwhile to have him as an ally."

"It makes sense that you would do a 'background check'. That's why I tolerate him as much as I do, since you accepted him. You led your own thieving gang in the past, you know how to see if a person is an asset or a hindrance to the group." Hiei never took his eyes away from the ring as Shishiwakamaru threw Kuwabara across the stage. "He is still a fool but he is doing better than I thought he would…If you tell a soul what I just said, I'll kill you."

"You can try, but you would fail, my friend. Indeed, it is difficult to gauge Kuwabara's true ability since he's the type to show his strength only in actual combat." Kurama smile as Kuwabara commanded his reikan to curve back in attempt to hit his opponent. "He is doing well considering that he has less than one year of experience with his reiken. While most of the demon participants in this tournament have been using their spirit energy attacks longer than Kuwabara's been alive."

Camera pans off to the audience to show Botan, Keiko and Shizuru.

With wide eyes, Botan points to the stage. "That's a new trick for Kuwa-chan! I never seen him do that before." Down below Kuwabara had just made the sword double back and trip his enemy with a swish.

Keiko gasps in astonishment. "I never saw him pull that out before! I thought that it was supposed to be … you know rigid and stiff." As the older girls shared a look, no one noticed a small creature make its way down the stadium.

Shizuru smirks in amusement, glancing over Keiko's head at Botan. The ferry girl was trying to hold in the giggles. Shizuru knew that Keiko didn't realize what she just said could be taken in the wrong way… if a dirty minded person overheard.

"Well, you know, sometimes that just happens to a guy. Sometimes they just can't keep it up." And judging by that comment, Botan had a dirty mind when she wanted to.

Suddenly, some commotion at the front row caught Shizuru's attention. "Oh damn! I always said that boy is trouble incarnate!" Botan and Keiko blinked as they took in the scene.

Down on the front row, sitting on the ledge that divides the audience from the ring, sat Eikichi. Only he wasn't alone, on each side of him there were a dozen other house-sized cats. By looks alone, one cannot tell if they were normal cats or youkai.

back on the tournament floor:

Yusuke felt that someone was nearly on top of him. Looking up, he saw cats. A lot of cats in fact, and in the middle of the feline horde sat Kuwabara's pet. "Aw man! Kurama, have you noticed that the kitten followed us?"

"Yes. I first noticed that he was following us as we left the hotel." Kurama casually said while smiling as he took in the sight of cats that were engrossed in watching the fight.

Yusuke noticed that they were acting in unison, their heads turning at the same time as they watch as Kuwabara and Shishiwakamaru tossed each other around the ring. "Gee, I think these cats are possessed. They move their heads as one!"

"It's similar to a pack of animals' instincts. They act as one." Under Hiei's headband, the Jagan eye glowed. "Hn, some are ningen cats while others are youkai. Yet, they all are interested in this one fight."

"Why would a bunch of cats show this much interest in a fight?" Yusuke tilted his head back as he looked at the score of cats that kept rapt attention on Kuwabara's fight with Shishiwakamaru. "That is not normal... even if it is a big cat lover like Kuwabara."

"Perhaps there's another element to it." Kurama turned to face Hiei. He had a suspicion but needed it confirmed. "Hiei, can tell what type of demon this Shishiwakamaru is with your Jagan eye?"

Hiei smirked after a few moments. "Heh, it's no wonder they are interested. You suspected this, didn't you fox?" When Kurama only grinned, Hiei turned away. He continued to talk since Yusuke was still confused. "It seems that that Kuwabara's opponent is a bird youkai."

A commotion in the front row interrupted any smart mouthed comments that Yusuke had. When they looked up, they saw that a few demons were attempting to make the cats move. The masked fighter jumped up to stand by Eikichi. "I strongly suggest that you leave this kitten alone. Trust me, you don't want to make Kuwabara mad."

One owl-faced demon laughed as he grabbed the poor kitten. "HA! I'm not afraid of some ningen. Besides, this kitty is the perfect size for a snack!" With a gaping mouth, he moved to drop the hapless kitten down his throat.

"Hey! Dumb ass, you better put down that cat!" Yusuke's hollering got the attention of many in the audience and in the ring.

"Oh my… it seems that someone in the audience it attempting to eat a kitten!" Koto's tail bristled as she narrowed her eyes in anger. "As much as I love the violence and gore of battle, I do not approve of someone eating a baby!"

The masked one didn't budge as she watched the demon move to swallow the kitty. "Don't say I didn't warn you."

"ACK!" That was the last sound the ignorant demon made, his eyes going cross-eyed as he took in his last sight. There was something sticking in his forehead that looked like a focused beam of light. However, that couldn't be, light is not solid. The demon didn't live long enough to follow the phenomena to its source.

"Well, he was warned." The Masked One smirked at the line of light that was just seven inches from her face. Following it, she looked down in the ring where Kuwabara stood with a look of pure rage on his face. "Heh, the boy has improved his control over his power of materialization."

"YES!" Punching one fist in the air, Koto smiled at the scene. "It seems that contestant Kuwabara is a cat lover. He made his Reiken grow into a lance to hit that audience member that was going to eat the kitten. And without missing a beat, Kuwabara resumes his fight with Shishiwakamaru! Kuwabara simply shrunk his reikan back to sword length and swung, taking Shishiwakamaru by surprise and successfully knocking him off his feet! You can hear the caterwauling of approval from the feline fans!"

One of the cats sitting on the ledge opened its mouth to voice its support for Kuwabara. Yusuke fell backwards as the house-sized feline let loose a roar that sounded like a tiger. "Okay, I'm going to take a wild guess that that cat is a youkai." He mumbled as he held one hand up to point at the culprit. The cat that roared smiled in a way only cats can do at the amusing human that was still flat on his back. Trust me, if you ever had a pet cat, you know what I mean.

The disorientation for Shishiwakamaru lasted for only a few seconds as he quickly got back on his feet. However, a disturbing sight in the audience caught his attention. Mumbling spread throughout the stadium.

"It seems that some of Contestant Shishiwakamaru's fan girls have changed their minds and now are now fans of contestant Kuwabara!" Balancing on her toes, Koto looked up the upper balcony.

Thump! "What the…" Yusuke fell back down anime style at the sight, while Hiei stumbled in shock. "This audience has been calling for our blood and somehow that baka gets some groupies?"

Kurama blinked a few times before grinning at the sign in the upper audience. "It seems that they prefer cats as well. However it seems that this turn of events may start a riot."

Up in balcony, there some young female demons holding a sign that once bore the name of Shishiwakamaru. However, now that name has been crossed out and Kuwabara's name was boldly written over it. Written under it was the phrase of 'Catch that bird!'. Now there were some other demon yelling at the females for 'betraying their fellow demons' and other such nonsense.

Everyone down in the ring had come to a stop as they looked up to the balcony. "How…" Shishiwakamaru looked on in shock as he mumbled something about losing his fans to a ningen.

Kuwabara blinked as he realized that, yes those fans were indeed for him however, they were acting like the crazed groupie fan girls. "Gee, fans I don't mind, but groupies get so crazy, it's scary!"

Seeing that both contestants were staring into the audience, Koto turned her attention back there as well. "It seems that there is about to be a riot in the audience! Now more than just girls are supporting Kuwabara. There are some older audience members and males up there as well. There seems to be one thing in common for the ones supporting Kuwabara…they are all cat demons."

After a few listening the arguing for a few minutes, Kuwabara grabbed the microphone. "HEY! That's enough of that crap. You say they are betraying demons since they are supporting a human. Well, they would still be betraying their own kind if they supported this guy!" Kuwabara pointed at Shishiwakamaru, who stood ten feet away. "Demons are the natural enemies of humans, so they should be calling for my death, right? But cats are the natural enemies of birds. And this guy is a bird demon! From what I've seen cats prefer to eat birds. So which one should they cheer of their enemies, the human or the bird? Most likely, it comes down to if the human is a cat lover or a cat hater. Well, there's no doubt that I prefer cats and do not hate them."

Later

"I still can't believe that Kuwabara's round was declared a draw because of that riot. Not only that but it took us all afternoon to clear out the cats from our rooms." Looking over to the window, Yusuke saw Hiei smirking. "Okay Hiei, what do you find so funny?"

Hiei glanced at Yusuke but otherwise did not move. "Hn, it seems that Kuwabara's new fan girls are chasing him."

"WHAT!" Everyone rushed to the window to look down at the scene.

On the fence there were a group of house-cat sized neko watching as a group of female humanoid cat demons chased Kuwabara around the courtyard. They were actually quite pretty, a better description would be catgirls, they looked like teenage girls with cat ears and tails plus the fur. The male nekos shook their heads at the girls' behavior and agreed with Kuwabara for running away.

As the sunset over the island, the apparent house cats sat on a wall, the male neko demons talked about their new hero's powers. While up in the hotel window Shizuru, Botan and Keiko as have joined Yusuke, Kurama and Hiei they peered out that one window. All of them were watching the same scene: There was an enormous dust cloud down on the beach. A shirtless chibi Kuwabara was running so fast that his legs looking like pinwheels in the wind. Behind him were the fan girls clutching on various sizes of rags that was once Kuwabara's shirt.

Throughout the night, people were awakened to the cries of 'help me!'

Fini XD

…..

Author Notes

For this chapter, I found inspiration from a story from Kazima Kuwabara….DON'T YOU LAUGH AT ME! Yes, you heard right, I found inspiration for a humor fic from Kazima, the queen of Kuwabara angst fics. In her "Under the Covers", there is a cat demon that says "Cat demons are attracted to cat lovers" and he continues to attempt to flirt with Kuwabara. It's true that cats can tell if a person is a cat lover or a cat hater. XD That when the idea hit me for this. I originally had this acknowledgment at the beginning, but then decided to move it to the end so it wouldn't ruin the surprise of it centering on cats. lol


	4. The Fox and The Clown

_**Deleted Scenes**_

_**Scene Three - The Fox & the Clown **_

It was sheer luck that the guys were able to reach so far into the treacherous fortress. Koenma was correct in that it was guarded by the new cultists that followed an ancient and long dead demon god. There were only three more levels before they would reach the final level that had the tomb of the deposed 'God of War'. And in that tomb is said to be three deadly magical weapons of destruction, swords that can destroy souls. However, first they must get past the cultists in question.

"Give us the key!" One large and very loathsome rat demon demanded.

"Key?" Kuwabara scratched his head in confusion, then turned to Kurama. "What key is he talking about?"

"I have no idea." Kurama replied, shrugging his shoulders.

"Don't you lie, thief! We know you bunch took the mystic sphere that unlocks the Great Lord's tomb."

"So that is what you are talking about." Kurama smiled at Hiei and Yusuke's grimacing faces. They were not amused that Kuwabara was correct about the strange marble, as Yusuke called it, is some sort of key.

The bellow came from the demons again, "Give us the key"!

"What key?" Kuwabara stared directly ahead with a straight face.

"You know what key, ningen!" One cultist roared as he charged forward.

"Hey, you try to kill me and I'll destroy the key!" A smirk found its way on the dumb-looking but secretly devious human's face as the demons took a step back.

"You just admitted that you have the key, stupid human." By the look of his robes this was the cult leader that stood in front of Kuwabara. "Now give us the key."

"Tchee, I'm getting tired of you repeating the same thing over and over. How about you, Kurama?" Grinning, Kuwabara looked at his friend.

"Indeed, I am beginning to suspect that they do not know how to rephrase a simple question." Kurama smirked, enjoying the game.

By now the beleaguered High Priest was red in the face with anger. In a furious voice he shouted, "Stop this foolishness and hand over the gem!"

With a chuckle, Kuwabara jerked a thumb in the direction of the High Priest. "Oops, Kurama, you spoke too soon. At least one is smart enough to rephrase his demands."

"Stop trying to make us mad, ugly." Someone in the crowd yelled.

"Hey, don't give me all the credit. You're doing a good job at that without my help! And you shouldn't call yourself ugly." Kuwabara hollered, baiting the cultists while he continued to ignore Hiei and Yusuke.

"It's useless to try to stop those two, huh Hiei?" The fact that Kurama joined in on Kuwabara's antics had Yusuke scratching the back of his head. "Damn, I wanted to hurry up and head back home. Why can't we just blast these morons and leave?"

"I wanted to finish this quickly as well. As for why we don't interfere and destroy the weak fools is simple; Kurama was bored and wanted to toy with them." Hiei huffed in annoyance. He would have to wait for his chance to slaughter the cultists but he smirked in anticipation of a good show. "As I told you back in the Maze Castle, it's smarted to work with Kurama than to go against him."

"Kurama must be planning on humiliating them before defeating them. He has his own ways of giving lessons that one can never forget." A new voice stated from behind them.

"Yomi! Mukuro? When did you two here…and why?" Yusuke was surprised that the two Demon Lords would come to such a petty place. It was beneath their status and that is what minions were used for. The majority of the demons here were barely C class. The High Priest is the only one they've seen that reached B class...so far. They posed no real threat, only their numbers made them an annoyance.

These powerless enemies were too weak to even give the tantai a workout. However, Kuwabara and Kurama saw it as a chance for amusement.

"I sensed that my First was back in the Makai. I was curious, so I came to investigate." Mukuro looked over to where the two redheads stood. "I suppose that the tall one next to Kurama is Kuwabara, your ningen ally that we've heard about. Am I correct?"

Yomi faced the same direction as well. He, too, wondered about the youth that was able to stand side by side with the likes of Kurama and Hiei. "I am curious, my research said that this Kuwabara Kazuma is good friend of yours, Yusuke. The rumor is that before either of you discovered how to use reiki, you were bitter rivals, continuously fighting each other with your fists. It's said that you died and somehow you returned to life. It was then that you became friendly rivals. Is there any truth to that?"

Rubbing that back of his neck, Yusuke chuckled. "That's right. We would fight at least once a day. It was more like that dummy would challenge me and I would pound his face in."

"However, Kuwabara is the only one that would return to fight you, correct?" Yomi persisted, not only to did his spies found out about Kurama's human family when they were ordered to collect information on Kurama, but they also gathered information on his friends and allies. Today gave Yomi a perfect opportunity to verify some of the tales his spies told him. "Even when you were an ordinary ningen, you were a vicious fighter. After you defeated a fellow human, they rarely came back to fight you a second time and never by themselves. The exception is Kuwabara, correct?"

Meanwhile back with the cultists, their leader was beginning to lose his patience. The demon narrowed his eyes, his anger apparent. "Enough fool! I've heard about you, Kuwabara Kazuma. You have one restriction against you that you dare not break. There is a magical binding that a foreign ancestor placed on the men of your family."

"Hey! How did you know that? Even those idiots don't know! They never realized the truth." The indignation in Kuwabara's voice was heard clearly as he callously gestured in the direction of Yusuke and Hiei, who gave identical scowls.

"I'm glad you asked that." A feminine voice called out from behind the line of cultists, which parted to clear a path. There stood a female demon in robes of identical design to the robes worn by that leader that had argued with Kuwabara.

"The robes were the only thing they had in common besides the fact they were psychotic leaders of a rabid cult was trying to get a hold of the weaponry of a long dead demon god. Where the High Priest was chunky, The High Priestess was tall and slim. While he was ugly as a toad, she was the picture of beauty. He wobbled around like a crippled crab and she moved with the grace of a tigress on the prowl. He bellowed in a voice that sounded like rock grating together while she was a mermaid singing. He was as bald as a baboon's ass and her hair was as fine as silk." The High Priest looked as if he was going to explode, the High Priestess preened and the others merely blinked as Kuwabara seemed to praise the woman, until ... "AH! You're Mari Su!"

Hiei went for his sword as Kurama paled and Yusuke began to stutter. Even Yomi and Mukuro took a step back.

The woman in question stopped being amused. "You… you fool! I am not one of those vile creatures! They pretend to be perfect and always get the cute boys despite the fact they have nothing what the boys really desire. All Mari Su are females that in truth are only young, little girls who believe their lives would be carefree if only they were perfect. They pretend to be perfect so they can ignore the real world and their problems."

"Let me guess, you don't pretend, you are perfect ..." Kuwabara never got to finish the sentence since the priestess began to throw…a tantrum. What? Were you expecting her to throw rocks, curses, or to throw up?

"No, no NO!" She yelled as she stomped her feet, doing a wonderful impersonation of Ayame the wolf girl form the InuYasha anime. "I am proud to say that I am not perfect. I love being evil and creating deranged plots. And I am not interested in the pretty boys such as Kurama or the slightly cute ones like Urameshi. I prefer my males to at least look like grown men. Most of the pretty boys have baby cheeks and wide eyes of youth. I like men with strong jaw lines, like Hiei and yourself, Kuwabara. I admire handsome scoundrels better than bishonen. The pretty boys are too boyish and are not sexy to me. I like males with obvious muscles like Hiei and yourself. But I do not like short males."

Crickets chirped as Yusuke blinked. "Hiei, did I hear her right? I think I started hear things after she said that didn't like Kurama's looks. That and it sounded like she repeated herself."

"You heard her correctly. She said she liked the looks of Kuwabara." Hiei confirmed what Yusuke heard but refused to believe.

"Enough diversions." The High Priestess demanded as she strolled up to Kuwabara. "You asked how we know the mystic restriction that was placed on you. Since you all are helpless ..." That statement caused more than one chuckle. "... under our power ..." The chuckles grew louder. "... I, Amiko, will tell you ... Stop that laughter, blasphemers!" She ended up screaming in fury. Take my word for it, when she screamed all of Makai cowered from the volume alone. Covering his bleeding ears, Yomi saw stars. Why even Rizen's ghost heard her far away at his tomb.

Standing on the ledge to the arena, Yusuke was doubled over with laughter. Hiei had thrown his head back and roared with laughter, the likes he hasn't done since Kurama and he learned that Yusuke was revived as a demon. Down on the arena floor, Kurama continues to chuckle. Hidden in the tunnel Mukuro smirked at the mayhem the boys were causing. This show was definitely worth coming in person for.

Kuwabara performed an exaggerated bow. "Sorry to burst your bubble, Amiko. We are not under anyone's power. We're not fighting you right now because it would be too easy and we're bored. We want to mess with ya."

"As if a simple ningen like you could engage in mind games with the likes of me. I am not like that fool, Hayate." Amiko stood tall as she pointed to the High Priest.

Yomi and Mukuro watched, well listened in Yomi's case, in amusement. "Ho, she doesn't realize that he already started with the mind games."

"Our apologies, Priestess Amiko." Kurama bowed and Amiko never detected the mocking tone to his voice.

Kuwabara walked closer to Amiko until she help out a hand, demanding him to stop. "Okay, I'll stop goofing off and trying to bluff you guys." He said, hanging his head dejectedly. Suddenly he clasped his hands on top of Amiko's outstretched hand, trapping it against his chest. "But can you blame me? Here I am, a ningen, surrounded by youkai, deep in the Makai. It's only natural that I tried to bluff my way out of it. I'm sorry that I interrupted you earlier." He pleaded as he squeezed her hand, making it lay flat against his chest.

"True, you are trapped here with no way to escape." At first, Amiko didn't raise her eyes from where her hand was encircled by his larger hands. "As I was saying, we knew that Reikai would send someone to try stop us. Team Urameshi is the most infamous and successful tentai team that Reikai has to fight against demons that don't fall in the jurisdiction of the Spirit Defense Squad. It was obvious that you four would be sent, so we investigated your histories. We know your weakness, Kuwabara. You refuse to fight a female because of that mystical prohibition." She paused simply for the drama of it. "You are not allowed to fight a female or you would lose your powers. So now I will deal with you and my female followers will search you for the key. And there is nothing you can do about it!" She boldly cried as she met Kuwabara's eyes.

"No! That means they'll grope me! It never fails!" Kuwabara cried out in dismay as he jerked his hands. The sudden movement caused him to yank Amiko's hand to the left.

They both stood still in apparent shock. Amiko stared at their hands. He still held on to her wrist, her hand flat on his chest. Under her palm, she could feel his nipple. And she could feel something else as well. Something that went through the said nipple. Slowly she raised her eyes again as her hand lowered so the fingers could verify what the palm revealed. "You have your nipple pierced?"

His answer was short and simple. "Yeah, I do."

She glanced to his right side. "Is the other?"

"Yeah, right one is pierced too."

Silence.

"Anything else?"

" ... "

"Answer me."

"My ear?"

"If so, why are you blushing? What else?"

"Tchee, below the belt."

" ... Bar or hoop?"

" ... Both."

"Prince Edward?"

"Yeah."

Pinch, pinch.

"Amiko! Quit feeling him up and find the key!" Hayate's screeching brought everyone out of a shocked stupor.

"Well, at least you didn't have to wait for the minions before you were molested by a female this time." Kurama was snickering, finding the entire scene funny.

Collecting her dignity, Amiko stepped back as she called over the girls. "Very well, search him. And you, Kuwabara, had best cooperate."

"Damn it, fine, I will." Kuwabara groused but secretly went a wink of amusement to Kurama, who managed to keep a straight face. "At least the girls are pretty."

Three cat girls giggled as they started search the numerous pockets on the white trench coat that Kuwabara wore. Soon there were various items on the rock and the ground in front of Amiko. A fourth demon girl went through the stash. "A pocket watch, handcuffs, tootsie rolls, one history book, a bottle of chopped leaves, a pile of yen, four crumbled school notes. A bag of walnuts, nine signed love notes from different girls, two notes saying I admire you and I love you signed by guys. Seven love notes that are not signed, four pictures of female classmates, two of which are topless, one pink collar that says 'Bad Kitty' that's linked to a cuff that says 'Cat Trainer' ..."

Yusuke sweat drooped. "Okay, now I am not only scared but scarred. I really didn't need to know that Kuwabara has his own fanclub or that he has a kinky side to boot."

By now that had emptied the pockets on the trench coat and removed it from Kuwabara. Now they worked on the pockets of his pants. They pulled out more candy, a set of house-keys, a butterfly knife, more love notes, a picture of Yukina, Botan and Keiko in bikinis. But there was no mystical marble that could act like a key.

"High Priestess Amiko, we have emptied all of his pockets, We did not find it." One of the girls bowed.

"Search the belongings then. Unwrap all the candy, crack open the nuts, see if he hidden it within one. Open all the containers he had. If we do not find the key in his belongings, then we strip him and search the seams of his clothes!" The leer on Amiko's face was enough to make Kuwabara leery.

One of the girls, a cat demon stepped back, draping his coat over one arm as she tried to figure out what was in the bottle of leaves.

"I wouldn't do that if I was you." Kuwabara commented mildly.

"Well, you're not me!" The female cat demon retorted as she opened the bottle. After taking a two experimental sniffs, she smiled widely and took a deep breath. She closed her eyes as her tail began to sway back and forth. Without warning, she giggled as she jumped into a crowd of small rat demons and began to play…rather viciously. If you ever seen a cat chase a rodent, then you know how cruel a cat's play is. Trust me, for rat and mice demons, their worst nightmare is a cat demon in a playful mood.

"Let me guess, that was the catnip I gave you." Kurama inquired in an amused voice.

Kuwabara grinned as he watched her antics and the leaders scowled at the screams. "I did warn her not to open it. And that's why I'm glad that I'm not her, not after she sniffed some extra strength catnip. "

When the other two female cat demons began to sniff the air, Amiko realized that they could smell the potent plant. Although they were several feet away, the scent was intoxicating. Wanting to get rid of a plant that's a danger to the cultists, Amiko grabbed the vial and in a flash of energy, the catnip was vaporized. Unfortunately, that meant that the plant was burnt, albeit rather quickly. The smoke from the burnt catnip engulfed the area. When it cleared, confusion ran rampant.

Every cat demon present within one hundred feet was acting like kittens, or in the case of the one low level tiger demon; a cub. The vicious play that characterizes all young felines has been unleashed on the massive numbers of rat demons. The tentai will not have to worry about dealing with the sheer numbers since the playful cat demons were…ahem, playing with the poor rodents. If you have ever seen a house cat chase and catch a rodent, whether it's a rat or a mouse, then you know of what brutality I speak of when a cat plays with a mouse, or rat. And to think, that was a house cat, a ningen animal! Can you think of how a demon cat would be like?

"The responses of the cat demons are predictable but I never would have suspected that would happen though." Yomi pointed to where Yusuke laid on the ground.

Both Lords sweat-dropped as Yusuke emitted a loud snore.

Hiei glared, while Kurama and Kuwabara blinked.

"Hey, Kurama?" Kuwabara called out as he pointed to sleep form of Urameshi Yusuke. "I know that catnip acts like sedative on humans but Urameshi was revived after his third death as a demon so ...?"

"My guess is that even though Yusuke is a demon now, his physiology is similar to his original human form." Even though that was said in a normal tone, Kurama grinned at the situation. "Speaking of which, why didn't it affect you, Kuwabara-kun?"

"So you mean that catnip still affect Urameshi the same way, as a sedative. Cool!" Kuwabara didn't even try to hide the devious look that dawned on his face. "There's a simple reason why it didn't affect me as strongly as that dummy. I have a pet cat, I've given him catnip. I also drink catnip tea."

"You built up a resistance?" Kurama asked skeptically.

"To tell the truth, working with Urameshi and Hiei makes it so I need a really strong tea to cool down." Kuwabara made a face of pure annoyance. "Why do you think I asked for a stronger type of catnip? Damn, that was the entire sample you gave me that the psycho destroyed. Did you have any more left?"

"No, I only grew enough for the amount I gave you, although I do have some seeds. For the plant to have the correct properties, it will take a week for me to fast grow another batch of the new catnip to maturity." Kurama huffed at the questioning look from Hiei and Kuwabara. "I can't grow it any faster or my youki will cause it to have demonic traits."

"Ya know, you might want to keep a few seeds for that. Just think, if you created a field with this type of catnip but with demonic traits, you may end up with a type of grass that sends up a cloud that causes people to fall asleep, like Urameshi." Kuwabara made his point by pointing at the still form of Yusuke. However a look at the playful cat demons caused Kuwabara to add some caution. "Instead of sleeping, it causes cats to act drunk. Either way, it's a distraction. You did say you had some seeds right? Ya know what, Kurama? It would be a shame for these cultists if some of those catnip seeds started to grow."

Kurama didn't even bother with a laugh as he agreed with his friend. Shortly, more screams rang out as the other cat demons began to fall under the influence of catnip grown on demon energy. Hayate ran down the corridor with two cat demons following him. "As I suspected, the High Priest really was a rat after all."

"YOU!" Enraged, Amiko stormed up to the two redheads as she wildly swung her arms to the cultists that fighting each other.

"This…chaos is all your fault!" Screeching, she jabbed a finger at Kuwabara's chest.

Before she could react, he wrapped his arms around her torso and lifted her up. "Now, now, Amiko. Let's be fair. I did have a partner help me." As he released her, she realized that there were white bindings that pinned her arms to her chest. Before she could say anything, Kuwabara grabbed her shoulder and spun her around. As she came to a stop, stars were not the only thing circling around her. As her vision cleared, she tried to strain her neck to see the white binding now covered her from toes to her mouth, preventing her from saying anything. "Tchee, I may not be able to hit a girl, but there are other ways to deal with a girl threatening me."

Yusuke laughed at the scene of the High priestess wrapped up tighter than a present. Hiei's eyes bulged in shock, "How did he ...?"

"I formed it out of my energy, just as I did with that headband when we rescued Yukina." Came Kuwabara's nonchalant answer as he turned to the now-cleared path to the lower levels. "Now that we taught those cultists a lesson, it's get what we came for."

"Hey, I just thought of something!" Yusuke grabbed Kuwabara's arm, signally him to stop.

Kuwabara turned around to face his friend. "Hey, Urameshi, did you hear an echo?"

Yusuke had no idea what Kuwabara meant. "Huh?"

With a fiendish grin, Kuwabara clarified his question. "When you had that thought, did it echo?"

"Why you!" Within seconds a giant dust cloud engulfed the two boys. As it cleared, Everyone saw Yusuke sitting on Kuwabara's chest as he punched away. Only for Kuwabara to switch positions, proving to the Makai Lords that he could give as good as he got. As what was normal for one of their skirmishes, it was over quickly. "They searched all your pockets, so where is that marble? Don't tell me you lost it!"

"I didn't lose it, you ignoramus! I hid it since it was obvious that they would try to search us for the damn thing." With that, Kuwabara reached up to the 'duckbill' coif that the real tough guys wear on the streets of Japan. Digging into his hairdo, he pulled out a glowing blue stone.

Even fifty feet away, Yomi and Mukuro could feel the magic of the item. "Unbelievable that his own aura was able to hide the gem's power."

"Amiko should have searched my body instead of my belongings."

FINI

AN

Hehe the phrase ". He was as bald as a baboon's ass" is a reference to another manga/anime called Dragon Half.


	5. Dangerous Skies and Cliches

Disclaimer- I do not own any character from Yu Yu Hakusho or Bastard!

As in every chapter of Deleted Scenes, the characters are prone to moments of OOC.

Phooey, here I was trying to write the next chapter to my Wandering Souls fic, and slapstick humor comes and hits me in the face. Well, WS is a serious (or I try to make it one) story, so a chapter that is nothing but corny humor will not fit in there.

Dangerous Skies and Cliches

A light drizzle fell as Kuwabara walked over to the park with four coca-colas for everyone. Yusuke wiped a raindrop from his cheek as he stared at the sky. "Hey, why can't this be written by a fangirl?"

Three horrified faces stare at his own, only to be followed by Kuwabara's fist. "You're insane! Why would anyone want that type of horror to happen?"

"Hn" Hiei grunted from his perch atop of a fence post. "If a fangirl was writing this drabble, then the story would begin by the cliché of everything being picturesque, the sun shining and no rain. I, for one, prefer the rain." Unlike Yusuke, Hiei didn't think that a fangirl is a fair exchange for nice weather.

"I have to agree with Hiei. I would rather have it storming than have the story written by a fangirl. Why if the day started out all right in the fangirl's story, it would be ruined by the appearance of Mary Sue, a beautiful girl whose measurements are asinine." Kurama added as he shuddered, the memories of past stories have left deep emotional scars on his psyche. "They are so perfect, that it is inhuman! I can never believe in such perfection."

The idle chatter went on for some time. The four heroes were so caught up in the horrors of fanfiction that failed to notice that the rain stopped but dark clouds swirled ahead. A clash of thunder caused them to look skyward as an object dropped out of the eye of the storm.

"No way! It can't be!" Kuwabara cried in abject dismay. He ignored his old rival Urameshi asking what it was. Kuwabara watches as the object drifted slowly towards the ground. "Don't you guys realize what's going on?"

Hiei just grunted an 'hn' as Kurama raised an eyebrow and Yusuke hollered out for Kuwabara to 'get to the fucking point'.

Pointing to the ever slowly dropping object, Kuwabara raised his voice. "The thunder, the swirling clouds and a mysterious object descending from the eye of the storm... it's nothing less than..." Choking for a moment, Kuwabara swallowed before hollering it out.

"It's a cliché!"

"Kuwabara's having a "Bastard!" flashback!" Yusuke clamped both hands over his mouth in horror as he whispered.

"What do you mean Yusuke?" Kurama asked.

"If this was written by a fangirl, I would make a comment along the lines of 'the oaf is always having a bastard moment.'" Hiei snapped as he sat under a dry branch, flipping through some of the English graphic novels released by Viz for Bastard!. After finding page ? of volume? , Hiei showed the following pages were High Priest Geo is talking to the Grand Dame (aka Old Hag) about the shield on the Explosive Wizard, Dark Schneider, Hiei hands the book to Kurama.

Taking a few minutes to read the pages, Kurama puts the book aside. "Ah, I understand now." Giving a knowing smile, Kurama turned to consider Hiei. "I also understand the double meaning of you saying he always having 'Bastard' moment. Not only were you calling Kuwabara-kun an actual bastard, you were hinting at some similarities between our teammate and this character called Dark Schneider."

"They are both hot-headed, insufferable, foul-mouthed, believing they are unbeatable, etc.,etc. " Hiei smirked as he waved a dismissive hand. "To continue on, 'self-centered and careless and greedy and vain, reckless, short-tempered, unreasonable, crafty, pompous, horny, and on top of that, violent'."

Blinking, Kurama could only stare,. "Why did it sound like you were quoting something? And I don't think the horny part actually fits him."

" First off, I was quoting the Bastard! graphic novels. Secondly, YOU don't have a secret sister that you keep an eye on! I know he gets a woody when he's near my sister. Why do think I really don't want him near Yukina?" Hiei glared.

"Why Hiei, I've never heard you talk with such slang words before!" Yusuke didn't know to beam with pride at Hiei's seeming slang talk or run in fear.

"Stupid detective. This is a fanfic, of course I am out of character!" Hiei snarled.

The sound of munching from the side caught the attention of Yusuke, Hiei and Kurama. There, in a director's chair, sat Kuwabara calmly eating a tub of buttered popcorn as he watched the three. "Don't mind me, go ahead. So far this scene is actually funny."

AN

Asinine like an ass, esp. stupid or stubborn.

All this time I thought it was spelled asine when it's spelled asinine. I did the smart thing and looked it up in the dictionary that I keep at my computer desk.

The line Hiei quoted self-centered and careless and greedy and vain, reckless, short-tempered, unreasonable, crafty, pompous, horny, and on top of that, violent'." came from Bastard! and I do not own it. I will not tell which volume it came from (yet) because I'm interested to see how many others read Bastard! I first got into it the video, I finally found the DVD and discovered Viz is publishing the graphic novels Thank the gods! Because the show ends without them fighting neither Abigail or Kall-Su. Or what happens after that.


End file.
